Unpublished Love

"Make me feel good when I hurt so bad, barely getting' mad, I'm so glad I found you, I love bein' around you"

From the moment the song began serenading my ears, like the stream's raging waters thoughts of you came flooding in my restless mind. How am I to portray you? Confused I have been, blinded by the myriad things about you that captivated me. It's as if I am trapped in an arcane maze teeming with undecipherable riddles. goodness! Indeed it is challenging to bring you into perfect picture. I've written dozens, juiced my brain with poems and letters and stories yet every time I'd sit down and write, it's as if I'm writing to you for the first time.

The way your long curly hair gently dances with the wind, that sweet voice of yours, able to seize all the filthy noise, your heart-melting, compassionate and ever so loving stare, your lovely face, your cute smile, your witty jokes, your winks everything! I believe that I don't have the luxury of space to enumerate all of them.

Every time you would tell me how special I am even at times I know I'm not, when you'd ask me simple things like "have I eaten" or "how was my day" just gives me that inexpressive bliss probably that thing they call "kilig". I hope your mind would dare not think of these as mere praises only for I have gathered all my emotions to assemble these words. If only my mind has richer vocabulary I guess I could have come up with a more appealing manuscript but I guess this is it... for now.

I know I have always said this but just please let me say it again... You make waiting sooo worth it. Have a pleasant evening my dear, I'll meet you in my dreams. :)


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This is what? my 5th post for her? hindi pa kasama ung mga unpublished ones hehe ooohhh geez :) :)

THOUGHTS IV

To the eighth wonder of the world,


The words I know of are inadequate to convey my pleasure of having you in my life. I assume that you are clueless of what you are in my little world. Very well then, let me tell you.

You, my darling, a beautifully crafted woman of God, have never failed to wipe away my sorrows and paint a smile on my face. I don't know how you do it but every time you'd place your sweet, soft hands on my cheeks and when your mesmerizing eyes meet mine, all my troubles would simply dissolve. Whenever I am full of rage, times when my heart is overflowing with fury, just a simple "calm down, elijah" from you would suddenly extinguish the fire. All my anger would drift away yet still leave me wondering how it happened. No one in my entire life not even my parents has the ability to silence all the noise my head. Again, I am puzzled. How do you do it?

Sometimes I am stupid, I admit. I--I make you cry with my careless words. I know, trust me I do and I am sorry. If only the skies could paint the sadness I feel whenever you're hurt. If only the waters could reflect the hatred I have towards myself knowing that I am the one who caused you the pain. If only my arms could reach and wrap you... and tell you how deeply sorry I am. Then and there you would see how treasured you are in my life.

Your random acts of kindness. Your messages in my phone "have you eaten?", "go to bed early okay?", "I'll meet you in my prayers" so on and so forth would totally melt my heart away. I guess to you those were just plain and simple but to me... oh my you have no idea! :)

Thank you. Thank you for being a good friend, for being a special friend... an extra special friend. Thank you for caring, always having my welfare in mind. I don't know how to thank you enough... I'm speechless. Did you know that I juiced up my mind so I can find these words for you?? That's how special you are to me.

I remember telling you that only special people have a place on my blog.... guess this is your 3rd post haha. :) You...you are definitely... worth the wait.

Thoughts III

"Is she here yet?", "Has anybody seen her?" My eyes were in search for a familiar silhouette as I walk around the place."Come on what's taking her so long?"

There she was making her way pass through the glass doors. The spotlights turned to her as if slowly unveiling her gentle and conservative beauty. Here she comes only a few steps away. For a swift moment the crowd seemed to have sealed their lips and all the noise has seized. Nothing can be heard from the place except for the clicking of her heels and the sound of my heartbeat.

"Elay" She uttered with a smile as she stands right in front of me. "Calm down, don't be too obvious" I whispered to myself. "Hey what's up, is she your friend?" I replied "Yes, we're going to talk about something" She answered back. All day I've been filled with sunshines and butterflies all locked up in my chest but of course I can't tell her that. I can't say "Hey I've been waiting for you all day" That would be shallow and stupid! "Okay go ahead" with a deep breath I answered.

I couldn't stand waiting so I gathered all the courage scattered in the corners of my mind and decided to sit next to her.

There we were laughing our hearts out AGAIN. Oh I wanted to just sit there and talk to her forever. I always like, wait not like: LOVE, I always love to make her laugh why? well here's the thing; I DON'T KNOW.

Another day has ended


"In all of creation all things great and small, you are the one that surpasses them all. More precious than any diamond or pearl they broke the mold when you came in this world. And I'm trying hard to figure out just how I ever did without the warmth of your smile, the heart of a child that's deep inside leaves me purified."

I posted this without editing so there may be grammatical flaws oh well it's my blog anyway. Kindly leave a comment :)

Thoughts II


I first saw her in my dream; a charming young lady whose face is like those of angels. She has a smile that can wipe out anyone's sorrow and eyes that seem to hold all the beauty in the world. Her captivating physique is no different from her pure heart. Oh she's perfect... simply perfect.

Her beauty is one that surpasses the countless faces in the crowd. A jewel in a sea of pebbles, a swan in a pond of ducks, an oasis in a land of sand, a rose in the middle of thorns and thistles, words even phrases come flooding into my mind every time i think of her. I don't know which to pick, I don't know what word or set of words would be able to convey her beauty.

"Hi elay" she ca
me to me tapping me by the shoulder. "I'm okay, as usual" with a low voice I replied. Our minutes of conversation seemed hours. The giggles we shared are priceless. Her voice was music to my ears. I did nothing but ridicule her oh so corny jokes and taunt her punch lines but little did she know, that beneath those silly lines lies a heart that jumps in inexpressive bliss.

When will heaven grant me the chance of conversing with her again?

I guess for now there's nothing left for me to do but to steal glimpses of her...
to admire her beauty and be dazzled by her charm from afar...
to stay up late drawing images of her in my mind...
to wait... and wait

Words from the heart

Thoughts

A soft breeze wafts on my cheeks
caressing me softly and lovingly
and thoughts of you came racing
soon upon my awakening

Sing to me my beloved
I always long for your tender voice
a serenading song, a soothing lullaby
so irresistible, so you

I keep falling in love with you
every minute of every day
sunrise till' sunset, dusk till' dawn
my love, my darling
my calm waters and my woodland dove
your love is more than enough
is everything that my soul ever longed for

Cup your hands into my cheeks
and look deep into my eyes
so you could see once more
like an inexpressive bliss
like an inconceivable ecstasy
my unfathomable love for you





photo from ireneshpak


A letter of longing

To that someone who will never be replaced,


I sat beneath the star-spangled sky watching you. You're laughing with your friends, cracking silly jokes with joy written all over your face. You're happy indeed and indeed you've missed them.
It's been a long time since you have left. I missed your laughter, those eyes of yours that held all the beauty in the world and our moments, such memories filled with endless wonder. We could have died of happiness, or at least I could have.

Now you're back. Truly my prayers have been answered, that those long cold nights of crying were not in vain. It's sad though, how you forgot about me, how you ignored my presence, how I had to steal glimpses of you, how I sit here, here under this thick, moonless, black canvass craving for your attention.

I guess I have no more room in your heart. I guess all the roles in your little theater show have already been taken, that happiness is only a state of mind, a phony dream, a trap of wonderful promises. Still, I'll leave a space for you in my heart, in case you'll need me, in case you'll return.

Catching a breath


Everything is happening too fast...

Time was utterly swift
It was unnoticeable
The winds came
it carried our memories
as it passes
You're all grown up now

You've moved on
Yet here I remain
Sitting under the stars
couldn't resist
the temptation
of the past
sitting here...
Trying to taste the good times
Trying to feel how it was like


I've been vain and bitter
my mouth became an open grave
it wanted to devour you

to ruin you
to make you miserable
to make you experience
the crucible I endured
the loneliness I overcame
the sorrowful cries in my soul

my heart turned into stone
afraid to trust
afraid to love

Now, God has healed me
God has mended my wounded heart
Now, there are people waiting for me
people spending time listening to my stories
people sparing attention sharing my burdens
people who remind me that life after all is beautiful

Still I wonder where you are
are there people caring for you
are they listening to you

are they being true to you
even when I am unkind
behind this mask
lies a heart longing for you
New friends you now have
New faces, new character
I too have come far
New companions I also have
But I swear I think of you
and how I wish you knew
That amidst the hundreds of stars in my life
your star remains bright.

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